


Sitting in a Tree...

by Starjargon



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AU: Que Culpa Tiene El Nino, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Arranged Marriage, Doctor Who quotes, Drunken Flirting, F/M, Fluff, I've missed them!, Marriage, Marriage under Pressure, One Night Stands, Plot Twists, So many quote inserts, Strangers to Lovers, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22027807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starjargon/pseuds/Starjargon
Summary: River danced with a nice man at a wedding. She wasn't expecting that dance to lead to forever.¿Qué culpa tiene el niño? AUNR for plot itself.
Relationships: (Minor), Amy Pond/Rory Williams, Eleventh Doctor/River Song, Jack Harkness/Donna Noble, Martha Jones/Mickey Smith, The Doctor/River Song
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. River and the Doctor, Sittin' in a tree...

**Author's Note:**

> I've read some wonderful fics from various fandoms "based of another book/film/story" AUs and watched this film and thought I'd give it a go. Based off "¿Qué culpa tiene el niño?" (don't know the English name, sorry!). 
> 
> Due to the plot itself, here are a few CONTENT WARNINGS:  
> Unplanned Pregnancy, One night stand, character(s) being black-out drunk during said one-night stands; character(s) pressured into marriage. If I need more, please let me know. Most things are implied or mentioned, not detailed, and most of it is plotty plot plot devices only.

“Are you sure about this, Jack?” the Doctor asked his best friend.

“Yes, Doctor. I told you, I know Mickey from way back when. He won’t mind if you crash his wedding.”

“Okay, but it’s not like it’s a birthday celebration, where we just steal cake. It’s a wedding, these things tend to be very preci-“

“It’s a party, Doctor. Which is just what we both need. Dearly. Relax. Loosen up. Here, have a glass of wine.”

The Doctor took a sip from the glass, immediately spitting it back out into the cup. “Blech. Horrible thing. Don’t know how anyone can have a good time with this taste in their mouth.”

“Just one glass, River. Come on. It’s my wedding.” Martha Smith _née_ Jones begged her best friend.

“You know how sensitive I get, Martha. Do you remember the thing at the Byzantium? And that was only half a glass.” River reminded as she tried to brush off her friend’s suggestion.

“More like the _crash_ at the Byzantium,” Donna, her other best mate, commented loudly.

“Exactly.” River declared with finality, before taking in her friend’s face then rolling her eyes fondly. “Fine. But I expect you to take care of me when I make a fool of myself and can’t remember where I live.”

“Promise!” cheered Martha excitedly, toasting her nuptials with her two friends.

* * *

Jack tugged the Doctor around for a while, exchanging his wine for a glass of champagne to keep him from moaning and so he could continue to flirt with everyone who moved. The Doctor eventually relaxed, talking excitedly to those around him, before settling comfortably with a loud, friendly ginger who made him laugh, the practical, intelligent bride, and a curvy woman with hair that defied nature and a smile that made his heart skip a few beats. The groom came up and introduced his soon-to-be ex-boss as Colonel Manton, before sweeping his new wife away for a few dances. It took all of 2 minutes for the Doctor to decide he didn’t care for the colonel before he directed all his attention back to the women he was still with. Donna pulled the “tall, dark and handsome” colonel up to dance before the Doctor extended his hand to a now-tipsy River, swaying to the music and listening to her exuberant laughter in his ear.

* * *

River swayed happily in the arms of a nice-looking _young_ man, clinging to him more than she normally would, thanks to the half-empty glass of wine in her hand.

“So. Who are you, River?” he was asking breathlessly in her ear, a self-assured and easy charm in his voice putting her more and more at ease.

“Don’t you know?” she asked, used to people recognising her in relation to her parents, from her well-known author mother to her hero, decorated, high-ranking, and now retired-from-the-military-into-nursing father. Not that she minded. Usually. And their family name and lifestyle _had_ allowed her the freedom to pursue her two passions. Indeed, finding homes for refugee children by day, self-taught archaeologist by night, she was very grateful for the support her parents continued to provide her and her organisations.

“Something… about you. As though we were always meant to meet, like fate.” this man, was he a Surgeon? was still whispering reverently, holding her close as she snuggled up to his chest.

She smiled as she finished the rest of her wine. Like fate. She like the sound of that. She pulled him closer still.

* * *

She woke up the next morning in a strange hotel room alone, hungover, and with no recollection of the night before. She gathered her clothes, showered, and went to find Donna. Then they could leave and she could put this embarrassing night all behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

“…And they have stressed family is very important to them, so if we show them the needs of the families who are taking in these kids, their donations would be almost guaranteed, and- River, are you listening to me?” her mother, Amy, asked her. River had zoned out yet again, her mind a million miles away. She shook her head, looking up in a daze.

“What? Yes. Family. Important,” she replied, trying to concentrate on what her mother was telling her. Amelia Williams had taken to River’s organisation and cause with gusto, not only helping personally with (rather large) donations, but also lending her name to draw in more money than any other source these past few years.

She listened as intently as she could for a few more minutes to her mother’s ideas before she got up and ran to the toilet.

* * *

“What did you tell your mother?” Donna asked as she sat next to her best friend, waiting for her life to be decided by an ominous little stick.

“That I’d been feeling ill for a few days, probably the flu.”

“Well, it could still be that,” Donna tried half-heartedly.

River gave her a look.

“Or something else…” she finished lamely. “It’s time,” she said, picking up the pregnancy test and looking at it at River’s urging.

River closed her eyes, standing perfectly still, trying to keep herself together and her mind away from… what she knew was the truth even before Donna said weakly, “Congratulations, Mummy?”


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing they did was phone Martha, who told them to come right over.

“It was the night of your wedding,” River said, nervous energy bleeding in as she paced.

“Okay, but who was he?”

River wracked her brain, so much of that night a blur. She thought she remembered… nothing. The feeling of being safe and wanted, but the empty room the next day disproved that memory.

“Jack!” Martha exclaimed suddenly, as she and Donna scrolled through various photos from that night.

“Who?” River asked suddenly.

“Mickey’s friend,” Martha pointed, and Donna swooned a bit.

“Yes, I remember him,” she replied dreamily.

“Well, I don’t,” River snapped.

“No, I don’t think you spent much time with him, but I remember he brought a friend! The Professor, maybe? Some type of title.”

Mickey came through the door, arms circling his new wife as he laid a kiss on her temple.

“What’s everyone doing in ‘ere then?” he asked, head resting on Martha’s shoulder.

“Mickey, this bloke here, the young one- Jack’s friend who crashed our wedding, what’s his name?”

Mickey squinted at the photo.

“The Doctor! Oh, I didn’t even realise ‘e came.”

“Doctor who? Of what?” asked River, suddenly slightly hopeful. Her baby’s father was intelligent, at least.

“No one knows. We think it’s just the name he goes by. He sor’ of tinkers about, mostly. They say his folks abandoned ‘im, left him to fend for ‘imself early on, so ‘e just travels about in his rattl-y old car wherever he feels like. Kinda strange.”

At River’s sound of despair, Mickey looked at her, alarmed.

“Why? Wass wrong?”

“River’s pregnant, you dolt,” Donna snapped, rubbing her forlorn friend’s back as she put her face in her hands.

“And “the Doctor’s” the father,” explained Martha.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably posting this chapter prematurely, but I've had a day of days, so I don't care, I just need more fluff and these two in the world. Be aware, I reserve the right to change a couple of (minor) details later on down the line...

Tracking down the Doctor was a bit more complicated that River expected. He was always on the move, and according to Jack, was useless when it came to the telephone. After looking for him at both the library and museum where he sometimes volunteered, she finally caught up to him when Jack directed her to his new “flat of the month.”

She checked the address several times, thinking through what she was going to say before she steeled herself, adjusted her (low-cut) top, reapplied her lipstick, and took the few steps necessary in her magnificent heels to the door, not allowing herself to hesitate as she knocked four times.

She heard a crash from the inside, and a definite “ow!” before a man, even younger than his photo made him seem, stuck his head out of the door.

“Doctor?” she enquired. “Do you remember me? River Williams? From Martha and Mickey’s wedding.”

“Whose wedding?” he asked, opening the door all the way and adjusting his- was that a _bowtie?!_ and trying nervously to tame his ridiculously floppy hair.

“Mar- the wedding you _crashed_ about 2 months ago.” River reminded pointedly.

“Oh. Oh! River Williams. Course I remember. I remember everyone. Love the hair, by the way. What- erm. Did you- that is- can I help you with something?” He licked his lips nervously and fidgeted his hands in front of him as he looked at her in confusion.

“Well.” River looked down, trying and failing to remember her speech in the presence of this man’s total… ineptitude. “It’s- You see.” Nothing for it. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.” The Doctor’s hands _really_ fidgeted now, his tongue coming out to lick his lips even more anxiously than before.

“Oh?” River repeated, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Congratulations?” he had the nerve to hedge tentatively.

River was speechless as she stared at the man who didn’t even have the decency to invite her inside. Then, she became angry.

“No.”

“Excuse me.”

“This was- I don’t know what this was. Forget it. It was a bad idea.”

“Well, I just don’t think-“

“No, of course you didn’t think. I come here to tell you I’m having your baby and all you can say is “oh.” Should have known, you’re as bad as your- your family. They never get involved with anything or anyone, Mickey said. Don’t even know what I was expecting, from someone who calls _themselves_ “Doctor.”’ River ranted as she turned and stalked away, fuming. “What, do you think you’re some kind of healer, or wise man? Don’t know why I bothered. Better off doing this myself anyway.”

“My… family?” The Doctor was repeating, dumbfounded, before he looked up at the beautiful, irate, mysterious, and if what she was claiming was true, _pregnant_ woman walking away from him, probably forever, and he straightened his (cool) bowtie, quickly gave himself a nod of confidence, and ran after her.

“WAIT!”

“Forget it, _Doctor._ ” River pulled away from him, before he reached out to her, gently lifting her chin so he could look into her beautiful, captivating eyes.

“No, I just- It was a shock. But you know, first time for everything,” he exclaimed excitedly, his arms waving around as he began to pace.

“And a last time. I’ll not _beg_ anyone for anything, Doctor,” River said, arms crossed over her chest.

“No. Course not. You won’t ever have to, River Williams. From now on. Rule 3,” the Doctor declared, almost as an afterthought.

“Rule 3? What is this, some sort of game to you? What about Rules 1 and 2?”

“This is not a game! But, I think since we’re going to have a little River now, we should have rules.” River opened her mouth but was cut off by his pensive look. “Little River- Now that’s brilliant. So, we’ve got to start preparing for our Little River.” He grabbed her, pulling her toward a dilapidated-looking blue car. “What should we do first?” he asked himself.

River shook him off her hand. “Doctor!” she shouted, interrupting his continuous raving.

“What?” he asked, surprised he was no longer holding anything, before his hands once again began fidgeting in front of him.

“You’re really going to do this?” she asked, looking into the eyes of the _very_ _young_ man in front of her. As she stared into them, however, she was surprised to see a man… far beyond his years, hiding behind a boyish face. He looked seriously at her, nodding once, but it was enough to reassure her- _just_ enough.

River closed her eyes, thinking, before she brought out a bright red diary.

“Okay. First things first, my parents are going to want to meet you, after I tell them.” She flipped through a few pages, before writing something in. “Can you come to lunch on Thursday?”

“Thursday! Yes! Lunchtime. Lunchtime on Thursday. For lunch. With the parents.” He repeated, trying to get it to stick in his head.

“Doctor,” River interrupted him firmly again. “This is important.” He looked at her with those too-old eyes once more and smiled.

“I’ll be there, whenever you need me, River. Rule 14,” he smirked. She wrote down a time and an address, along with her phone number, and handed it to him.

Then she rolled her eyes before turning to her borrowed, much nicer vehicle. “Idiot.” She muttered, hoping she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life.

**Author's Note:**

> I believe I've had this in my WIP folder for about a year, so I'm going to try actually finishing it now. I have the beginning and the ending completely written. It's just that pesky middle giving me a headache. Originally written for DW Allsorts trope table- "Amnesia."
> 
> Also, I've not watched from Husbands of River Song on in DW, so please no spoilers nor asking why I've not included any plot devices or characters from there.


End file.
